Why couples get divorced

18 February 2016

Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce. But why?

Relate counsellor and sex therapist Peter Saddington has given the most common reasons for divorce he sees among his clients:

Money problems Difficulties can arise over money if the husband and wife have different values, for instance, if one person likes spending money freely and the other is more frugal and prefers saving.

Affairs If one person is having an affair, this is likely to break down trust and lead to problems in establishing honesty in a relationship.

Interfering ex-partners When establishing a new relationship, an ex getting your partner’s attention can create tension. It can feel like they’re still married to the ex, or that the ex is more important.

Differences in sexual libido Many men want more sex than women and if couples have different levels of sexual libido this will lead to problems.

Children from previous relationships There’s a big difference between how people react to their own children and how they react to children to whom they have become a parent. Parents make different allowances for children who are their own. When they are somebody else’s children, it may be more difficult to establish the same relationship.

Intrusive parents If parents are interfering, or if a partner perceives them to be, this can be a problem. If one partner spends too much time talking with their mother, for example, this can create a breakdown of intimacy in the relationship.

Difference in how you resolve conflict If someone has grown up in a family where arguing is very common and they’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like arguing or isn’t used to it, this can cause difficulty.

Differences in communication If one partner shares all their intimate thoughts, but their partner does not, this can cause trouble.

Privacy problems Another problem can be when one person has a different view of what should be kept private within the relationship. If one person shares all the intimate details of the relationship with their friends or in social media, this can be an increasingly difficult thing to manage.

If you’d like to talk with one of our counsellors about difficulties in your relationship do give us a call on 01234 356350.


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