When a new baby isn’t entirely that bundle of joy you’d expected

We’re sometimes reluctant to talk about what it’s really like to bring a new baby into a family – apart from the acceptance that we’re likely to get a lot less sleep.

Expectations run high and anything that contradicts them can be difficult to process.

As a new parent, you’re letting go of one life and discovering another. This process can take time.

It’s a period of intense change for you, your partner, and your new baby. You learn together what that new ‘normal’ looks like but, meanwhile, it’s important not to judge yourself, nor your partner, if things feel uncomfortable. Be gentle with each other. (more…)

‘Children learn positive lessons when parents explain how they resolve arguments’

Most parents argue. But the way these disagreements affect children varies greatly, according to research commissioned by the BBC.

It’s not only the relationship between parent and child that affects children’s long-term development.

How parents get on with each other also plays a big role in a child’s wellbeing, with the potential to affect everything from mental health to academic success and future relationships. (more…)

Relate Northamptonshire is looking for volunteers

 

 

Did you know that volunteering is good for your wellbeing?

  • Volunteers live longer and are healthier
  • Volunteering establishes strong relationships
  • Volunteering is good for society
  • Volunteering gives you a sense of purpose

Volunteering can give you the opportunity to:

  • try something new
  • gain experience
  • develop skills
  • improve your career prospects
  • build confidence
  • meet new people.
  • help you achieve personal goals

You only need to give a few hours a month to make a real difference to your local community.

Giving your time is incredibly important to us – without our team of volunteers, we would be unable to run our fantastic services.

Our volunteers currently support us with  reception cover, administrative tasks and a whole range of opportunities from painting to supporting us in our fundraising endeavours.

We will provide you with full training in order to support you in your volunteering role.

Please give Hayley, our Operations Manager a call on 01604 634400 to learn more about how you can support us.

 

Blame can be toxic

When you’re on the receiving end of blame it can be exhausting, exasperating and painful.

It can make you feel tiny: like nothing you do is good enough or ever will be. It can break down your sense of trust in your partner and replace it with a growing sense of resentment and anger.

And, if it persists for a long time, constant blame in a relationship can be a symptom of emotional abuse.

Why do we blame each other? (more…)

That’s not cheating – or is it?

‘Micro-cheating’ – said to be a new buzzword – is all about little things you might think aren’t that naughty, but could turn out to be.

Is there such a thing – ‘cheating but only a bit’?

Yes, says Dr Martin Graff, professor of psychology at the University of South Wales, who wrote about this modern dating dilemma in an article for a psychology journal. (more…)

Forgiveness: it’s the hardest thing to do

Forgiving your partner if they’ve done something to upset you can be one of the hardest things to do in a relationship.

When you’re feeling disappointed, angry or betrayed, the idea of forgiving someone can feel a little bit like giving in – as if, by letting go of your resentment, you’re allowing them to ‘get away with it’.

It can be more tempting to hang on to negative emotions – acting distant and frosty as a way of punishing the person who has upset you. (more…)

How to argue less

Arguments are common in all kinds of relationships. Some degree of conflict can even be healthy, as it means both people are expressing themselves, rather than keeping everything inside and letting emotions fester.

But if you’re arguing all the time, or simple disagreements end up in a hostile silence or screaming match, it can really start to take its toll – or even leave you wondering whether you’re all that compatible.

Learning ways to handle disagreements constructively is crucial in any relationship. (more…)

Coping with the ‘snowball of stress’

Stress can have a distorting effect on our relationships. It can make us feel low and not wanting to talk to people. We tend to shut ourselves away and keep our emotions on the inside.

It can make us argumentative and prone to lashing out – ready to lose our temper in an instant. Or, it can cause us to oscillate between different moods at different times.

It’s hard to ‘plan’ for the effects of stress. Often, we don’t anticipate being stressed – stressful experiences often take us by surprise, and can come out of nowhere. A sudden increase in workload. An unwelcome call from your mum. An unexpected bill. One moment you’re feeling calm and happy; the next, hot, panicky and irritated. (more…)

Cycling Mount Snowdon in Support of Relate Northamptonshire

Well Done to Gordon & Adam – they reached the summit on Sunday 28th April in 2 hrs 45 min and descended in just over an hour.  Great achievement despite Storm Hannah delaying your ascent!  Many thanks from all at Relate Northamptonshire for your support!  There’s still time to support them, just visit  https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/gordonandadam 

 

Gordon & Adam are cycling up (and back down) Mount Snowdon to raise much needed funds to enable us to provide free counselling support to people working in the construction industry who are struggling with their mental health.

If you’d like to support them, please visit their fundraising page:

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/gordonandadam

Gordon & Adam work for Buckingham Group Contracting Ltd (Buckingham) and they are supporting their endeavors to raise funds for Relate Northamptonshire.  Here’s what they said:

“We are pleased that Adam and Gordon have been inspired to raise awareness and money for charity.  Buckingham Group Contracting Ltd (Buckingham) actively promotes the 5 ways to wellbeing. The company believes that focusing on this approach aids improved wellbeing and recognition of the importance of maintaining physical and mental health at work.  We signed the Time to Change Charter in January and are actively implementing our action plan.  We have appointed Mental Health Champions through the organisation and are developing the role by providing ongoing training and support.  As a matter of policy, we provide mental health awareness training to all of our staff.

Buckingham is an owner-managed, multi-disciplinary, principal and main contractor.  Operating from our Head Office near Silverstone, plus regional offices in London, Theale, Birmingham, Manchester, Warrington, and Doncaster, we bring more than 60 years of experience to our Public and Private Sector Clients throughout the UK and Ireland.  Buckingham provides a range of stand-alone, or fully integrated services, in Building, Civil Engineering, Demolition, Land Remediation, Land Restoration, Sports & Leisure, and Rail.

We have been developing our approach to occupational health and wellbeing since 2016.  Signing the Time to Change Pledge demonstrates Buckingham’s Board commitment to reducing stigma associated with mental ill health and helps raise awareness through our business and our supply chain.

Mental health is a key focus in our health and wellbeing strategy where we aim to increase awareness and reduce stigma, reduce workplace risk factors and promote positive coping strategies.”

Loneliness affects younger people – much more than older people

Loneliness affects people at all stages of life. But young people, in their late teens and early 20s, are significantly more likely to be affected than older age groups, says a study.

Findings show one in 20 adults in England feel lonely often or all of the time – and social media may be exacerbating the problem, particularly among younger generations.

The figures were released by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), which was tasked with compiling data as part of a Government drive to tackle loneliness.

Five per cent of those aged 16 and over in England report feeling lonely often or all of the time, while 16% feel lonely sometimes, and 24% occasionally. (more…)