More than a fifth of local people are dissatisfied with their sex life

16 June 2020

More than a fifth (22 per cent) of people in the East of England are dissatisfied with their sex life and a third (33 per cent) have experienced a sexual problem, according to new figures from Relate Bedfordshire and Luton.

The same study found that just over a fifth (21 per cent) of people living in the East said that low libido or differing sex drives is placing a strain on their relationship.

The figures are taken from a report by Relate and Relationships Scotland, Let’s talk about sex. The UK-wide study included more than 5,000 respondents, 490 of whom were from the East of England.

With sexual satisfaction strongly linked to overall relationship quality and health and well-being, Relate Bedfordshire and Luton is encouraging local people to talk more openly about sex and to seek support early on if they are unhappy with their sex life. Our sex therapist, Diane Whitmore, says: “It’s a shame that so many people are dissatisfied with their sex life, particularly as this can have a knock-on effect on relationships and overall wellbeing. Part of the problem here is that many couples find talking about sex awkward so instead of bringing up any issues and tackling them, they suffer in silence. We’d all benefit from talking more openly about sex and getting into the habit of checking in regularly with our partners.

“If you’re experiencing a sexual problem of any kind or aren’t feeling happy with your sex life, we’d also encourage you to get in touch with Relate at the earliest possible stage. Sex therapy can help you to work out what’s causing the problem and improve communication and intimacy so that you can enjoy a healthy sex life again.”

Our tips for talking to your partner about sex

  • Don’t feel you should be able to understand all of each other’s sexual needs without communicating them. Everyone is different and we aren’t mind readers.
  • Get into the habit of having regular chats about how your sex life is going. Consider scheduling in a time for them.
  • Pick the right time and place. It’s best to start conversations about sex when you’re both relaxed and without any distractions. Avoid initiating a conversation about sex after or during an argument.
  • Don’t worry if you aren’t used to talking about sex. It’s possible to learn how to. It may feel strange at first but soon it’ll be second nature.
  • Be honest. If you’re finding it awkward talking to your partner about sex, tell them just that. It’s likely they are feeling the same way.
  • Talk openly but sensitively. Saying “I hate it when you touch me like that” may be hurtful so instead why not say “I’d really like it if you tried touching me like this.”
  • If you’re still finding things difficult, do consider Sex therapy. Sex therapists are non-judgmental and provide a safe environment in which to discuss sex.

We provide sex therapy services for both individuals and couples. Don’t be afraid to get in touch by calling our friendly appointments team on 01234 356350 or emailing appointments@relatebedsandluton.org.uk

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