Getting It Right In Online Dating – by Relate’s Sue Reed

16 March 2022

Online dating is hugely popular. According to YouGov one in five relationships in the UK now start on line, and meetings via the internet is the third most popular way of finding a date , the first two being finding a date through friends or meeting someone in a pub or club.

Many people find a partner successfully through online dating sites but many others have had difficult and unhappy experiences. Online dating has pitfalls as well as positives. Online dating has different rules to the more traditional ways of meeting. Surveys show that many people are economical with the truth when it comes to filling out their online profile to ensure they are seen in the best possible light. Reading a profile is very different to seeing a person.  The first communications will be by email or texting but most human communication is non-verbal so we miss out on body language, tone of voice and nuances of behaviour. It is hard to see if there is a real spark or to gauge the chemistry between people in online communication.

So many profiles, how can you decide? Clicking from profile to profile can lead to a shopping mentality and the individuals seem less like people and more like something to be compared and objectified. So, how can we find the right person and not get tangled in a series of poor experiences?

Relate has relationship coaches who can help individuals who have experienced troubled relationships, who have difficulty knowing what they want in a relationship, or just want to stay on track with their plan to find a deeper connection with someone. A relationship coach can help you define what you want out of a partnership and guide you around painful issues.  Coaching is not the same as counselling, a relationship coach is more like a personal trainer. The coaching is likely to focus on setting goals and finding solutions.

Because relationship coaching is solution focused, you establish what you want to achieve through coaching, assess the situation you are currently in, increase self-awareness and what you can do to move away from your current unsatisfying situation, towards your goals for a relationship and your life.

Relationship coaching is not just about online dating and is available to all individuals who want to explore how they can improve their relationships.  The Relate relationship coach can also assess the individual situation and refer on to counselling or sex therapy if this is more applicable.

The quality of our relationships affects all other aspects of our lives and focusing some time on creating healthy and mutually supportive relationships can improve our lives in so many ways.

For more information regarding our coaching services, telephone 01234 342503

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