Do’s and don’ts on dates

18 February 2016

Phew. For those of us thinking we were the only ones having trouble forming a relationship… there’s some better news. We’re not alone.

Half of all single people in the UK want a long-term relationship. And one in 10 of us have a great deal of difficulty forming romantic connections, according to a Relate survey.

To our rescue comes Relate couples counsellor Barbara Bloomfield who has shared in The Independent the most common dating mistakes she sees among her clients:

  1. Thinking that there is ‘the one’

People come to me and say: ‘I’d like to meet the one’. You’re unlikely to meet one person who is absolutely perfect for you; you are likely to meet lots of people who are good for you.

  1. Not making good conversation

You’ve got to learn to look interested on a date. People who are having a great deal of difficulty with relationships are the ones who fall into the long, boring monologues about themselves.

  1. Not feeling confident

Go on dates when you’re feeling confident to handle dating. People often go because they’re feeling desperate, and that’s exactly the wrong time to go on dates. Wear something comfortable that makes you feel good about yourself.

  1. Not being honest after the first date

A lot of dates go wrong because people are either too shy or worried about being rejected. They end the date without making any decisions.

If you like the person, tell them you like them and would like to see them again. If you’re not sure if you like them, say something like: ‘Shall we think about it overnight?’ If you don’t like them, the best thing to say is something like: ‘I’m not sure that we’ve got enough in common.’ Be clear with them. If they’re a definite no, let them down gently but firmly. Don’t leave it hanging.

So many dates and relationships fall down because people are shy and unsure and they leave it hanging in the air and haven’t got the nerve to get in touch again.


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