Posts Categorized: Communication

Negotiating Difference

A lot has been written about why people fall in love.  It’s the first question I ask couples that come to see me.  Sometimes it’s simple: “We’re good friends and it felt right to move to the next stage”.  For some it’s a physical attraction or finding someone they can talk to about anything. For… Read more »

How things change: relationships under construction

I have a ‘postcard’ in my hallway that reads ‘The road to success is always under construction”.  I often tell my clients that applies to your relationship too. Most relationships start off lighthearted, full of joy and expectation.  We ‘fall in love’ for all sorts of reasons and with that person everything is possible: sharing… Read more »

Blame can be toxic

When you’re on the receiving end of blame it can be exhausting, exasperating and painful. It can make you feel tiny: like nothing you do is good enough or ever will be. It can break down your sense of trust in your partner and replace it with a growing sense of resentment and anger. And,… Read more »

That’s not cheating – or is it?

‘Micro-cheating’ – said to be a new buzzword – is all about little things you might think aren’t that naughty, but could turn out to be. Is there such a thing – ‘cheating but only a bit’? Yes, says Dr Martin Graff, professor of psychology at the University of South Wales, who wrote about this… Read more »

How to argue less

Arguments are common in all kinds of relationships. Some degree of conflict can even be healthy, as it means both people are expressing themselves, rather than keeping everything inside and letting emotions fester. But if you’re arguing all the time, or simple disagreements end up in a hostile silence or screaming match, it can really… Read more »

9 characteristics of successful couples

Christmas is fast approaching – a time of family, fun and laughter. Or it should be. Christmas can also be a time of intense pressure and stress, leading to arguments and upsets between couples – the exact opposite of what everyone is looking forward to! So how do some couples manage to not only survive… Read more »